it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
