Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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