Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
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