I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
