Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
