So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
