At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
