Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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