Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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