so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I booty called her while she was in labor.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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