i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
