and i looked up. we had an audience...
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
