someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
