I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Randomize
