I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You have to summon your inner elephant
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I would fuck him just for his dog
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
