i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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