Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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