You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
