You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Randomize
