You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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