Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
