just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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