exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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