do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
