Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize
