Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize