hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
