You really coming over, don't trick.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
