Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize
