apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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