chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Randomize
