my soul wont recognize me after tonight
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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