Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
