Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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