I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
