this boner is exhausting
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
