i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
