Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
