My nipple is on Facebook.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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