these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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