there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
