Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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