That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
