we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
