So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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