Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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