It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
