all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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