his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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