The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
