didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
