dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
