Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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