If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
